It has been some time since I last posted. Partially because it has been very busy trying to keep the house maintained with long daily visits to the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit).
This week was particularly difficult as I had to experience another families grief of the loss of their baby. The baby (Elia) was born three weeks ago at 25 weeks of pregnancy. I met the family immediately after their baby was born as he was in the same room as Sebastian. It does not take long to become "friends" with other parents as you can all relate to the stresses and ups and downs of the unit. This couple have to be one of the kindest couples I have yet met in the 50 days Sebastian has been in this unit. Small town, friendly, with a great family (I met the grandparents) and a positive outlook on life. I spoke with the couple on a regular basis and we always shared updates on our sons.
On Tuesday Mary (mother) looked horrible as if she had been crying all night (I know how that is) and we talked about our children. Mary's son had an infection and at the time I thought that it was the regular infection where they give the child antibiotics and it all goes away. Also you think that the doctors can cure everything. I did not think much of it until I came for my daily visit on Friday and things were entirely different. It turned out one of the lines they ran in her son had infected the baby and that the infection had gotten into the blood. The atmosphere in the NICU was very quiet and sad. A priest had been called in that morning to pray for the baby before they pulled all the lines and let him die. About twenty family members were given the opportunity to see the baby before it died (myself inculded). I have to say that it was one of the saddest moments of my life. I could not stop my tears for days and as I post this I am still grief stricken for the parents of this beautiful little boy.
The babies in the NICU must have sensed that something was not right as none of the usual bells and whistles (alarms) went off and the room was strangely quiet. I was able to give my sympathy to the parents who wished me well for the health of Sebastian.
It is amazing how you have such a strong bond with other parents of children in the NICU. I hope I never have to experience this sorrow and grief again.
That night I held my child a little bit closer. It was also a brutal reminder that anything can happen in this unit.
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